Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
My ATM looks so different sober.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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