I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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