according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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