Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize