Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize