Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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