you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Randomize