i barfeds in our rink
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
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