I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize