he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You made out with two different species that night
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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