to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize