She's JV to your varsity
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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