pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
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He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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