My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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