Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
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They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
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Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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