My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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