If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
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Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
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My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize