Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
The convent might be a nice break from real life
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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