Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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