i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
we made out on top of his cat.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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