just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
vagina is talking i cant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Dicks are not precious.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize