I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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