tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
cat food counts as protein by the way
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
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