what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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