The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize