Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I will die if light touches me.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize