This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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