just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
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