well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
My breasts were aching with rage.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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