I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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