So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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