Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
honey bunches of taint.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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