Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to fro yo and sex?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize