well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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