I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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