Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
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