It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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