It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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