Can i not drive my cunt home
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize