It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
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Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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