I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
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Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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