worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize