you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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