So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
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She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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