You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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