Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
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there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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