They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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