I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
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