I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize