I am full of burrito and curiosity
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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